Startisha

Well, the Seventh Seal (finals week) has been opened, so I have been studying like a Korean molecular engineering student named Pho Kung Phet. At about 11 pm last night, the roommates and I decided that we needed to get out of the house for a bit, and maybe go use the free wifi at a late night coffee shop.

Thirteen minutes later, we were unpacking our laptops and books for a little study sesh at Salt Lake Coffee Break, located in downtown SLC. About the time that I started to purposefully distract myself by surfing the web instead of reviewing a web article for class, an odd site caught my eye.

This young black girl, maybe 22, came walking into the coffee shop with no shirt on. Don't worry, she had her brassiere on... kind of. Actually, her "situation" was a little discombobulated, and her right nip was completely periscoping from the top of the cup, but thats neither here nor there. Other than the indecent exposure, there didn't really seem to be anything else amiss with her.

I tried not to stare as she walked behind me, but I couldn't help but keep her in my periph, just in case any other shenanigans went down that I needed to witness As my luck would have it, she pranced over to our table and stood right next to me. Like, her hip was about to touch my right shoulder and I could smell her breath. She dropped a coupon to try Sprint's new service plan on the table and walked off without a word. A few minutes later, she came back and stood in the exact same spot, and pulled a stack of photos out her back pocket. As it turns out, they were a stack of those little proof photos that you get when you develop film at Wal Mart. You know, the kind that have a thumbnail of every picture on the roll. She carefully reviewed each proof, and then laid it down next to me for approval. After a minute of this, I summoned my most "what the hell?"-face and said "So... are these yours?"

Not looking me in the eye, she just responds "Be my guest. Just be sure to leave them to the owner when you are done. He will give them back to me". I glanced at a couple of them, and they consisted of completely random photos of her face, the Salt Lake Temple, a couple shots of Dicks Sporting Goods at the Gateway mall, and a few pics of some car tail lights.

As I was formulating a reason for why this chick was acting completely loony, I looked up from the proofs at the same moment she was launching into a full pirouette, all the while singing along to "Billie Jean", as it was playing on the house stereo system. She stopped for a moment to glance at a flier, gave it a laugh, and then went back to "... be careful what you do, don't go 'round breakin young girls' hearts, Yeaah eaaaah.". For the grand finale, she went into full out gymnast splits to grab a flier that was laying on the ground, and walked silently out of the coffee shop.

Scout's honor, I didn't just make this up.

Power points

Oh snap! Guess who is getting a wireless signal from their neighbor??? Thats right babies, me. I am gonna take this opportunity to post some things that have been racing through my head as my MacBook Pro poaches some intraweb waves, in an ever so ninja-like fashion.

I was studying for an essay exam that I thought was tomorrow, but turns out its not til Thursday. Know what that means? I get to procrastinate, and you get to read my latest musings. Disclaimer: there really is no rhyme or reason, or relationship to any of the following points.

1.) Snow: Lots of it. Digging out every other day is becoming tiresome, but this stuff is gorgeous...glad that Brigham Young decided "This is the place".

2.) Passing of Gordon B. Hinckley: Although I am not sad, its not every day that the World loses the best person in it.

3.) Election primaries: coming up pretty soon, but I am still not quite sure who will receive my vote. If the day comes and I am still wishy-washy, I am just gonna write in "John Rambo" as the alternate. I am confident that he would sneak up on any one of our country's problems, cover its mouth, and then rip out its trachea with his bare hands. With his bare hands, man...

4.) Guilty pleasure song: "Lesson Learned" by Alicia Keys, and John Mayer. Her sultry voice, John's dripping-with-tone Strat, a simple piano melody, and a tight beat. Musician collaboration at its best. Never mind its about her getting her heart broken by some dude.

5.) Superbowl XXVIJHEBBV, or whatever it is: Who honestly cares about the Patriots or the Giants? The answer: No one. I am still gonna watch it in my Broncos gear, but only as a celebration of the 2007-2008 NFL season. I am gonna root for Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. I hope they win.

6.) New stuff I would like to purchase if me and my friends found One-Eyed Willy's treasure: A white Toyota Tacoma, new pickups for my Fender, and some gray and infared Nike Airmax 90's. Do I need any of it? No. Is that question relevant? No.

7.) This dude, Erik Mongrain: he looks like a cancer patient, or maybe a raver, or maybe a villain in Max Max Beyond Thunderdome. No, he's just Quebecois. Boy does he make a pretty tune in an unconventional way though. Enjoy Le Percusien.